I went home for the first time in a year and a half. Anxiety wrecked havok on my body...My family embraced me. It was odd being home, being the outsider, but in the end it was all necessary. I think what was supposed to happen on this trip happened. I reconnected. I felt love, I felt needed and I felt like I had people in my corner. I feel very selfish at times. Like I knew how I was feeling, but I never counted on reallly hurting anyone else. I learned that I have to teach, I have to talk, I have to almost do a reintroduction of myself before I can expect things to be any different. I learned things on this trip. I didn't count on that.



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I realize now why I wasn't popular in high school. I don't pay people enough attention. It's something i've been working on...unsuccessfully. I thought I had grown out of being shy, but I guess not. Is it possible to be overly considerate? Dunno... Feeling like I need to take some risks...



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Thank you God

You protect me in ways I've never even considered. I thank you for keeping me out of situatuons that I don't need to be in. I am not always aware of how you worl, how you protect me, but today I am and I thank you.

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I'm unemployed!

So today was really my first day off. I spent the day curled up with my sweetie. I believe my feelings for her are growing stronger. I found myself giving her that LOOK. You know the one. I'm getting to the point now where i'm starting to see her imperfec

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Day two

I'm anxious. I'm ready to start this new life that I have planned. I'm hoping that things will work out at the dept of labor and they'll pay for my school. If not, I'll have to wait until my severance comes in and hope they'll let me split the cost. I'm contemplating how this contract work stuff will pan out. I'm coming to the conclusion that I'll probably need to work something temp to make sure I don't blow through my severance. Especially if I end up paying for school on my own. Perfect timing to have to find a new roomie! Yeah, timing sucks! No more withdrawal though! Yay me!

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Sent from my Helio Ocean

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I deleted my myspace!

I deleted my page. Though it's only been an hour, I feel withdrawal setting in! I feel anxioux, but slightly liberated. I'm hoping this will force me to develop stronger in person relationships. Especially with the people that deserve to know i care.

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Sent from my Helio Ocean

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